A Sense of Place

Oh, Minneapolis. I love you most when you're Gotham-esque.

Emily's Lebanese Deli

Emily's Lebanese Deli is not really a deli, and I don't know whether there is really an Emily.

I do know, however, that this is really Lebanese food. I also know it's damn good.

Emily's Lebanese Deli is a funny place. It's basically in an old house in Northeast Minneapolis (it is also surrounded by other houses, which makes the budding lawyer in me wonder about the zoning in that area. How can you mix residential and commercial like that?) and is a complete dump. It's lit like a Soviet interrogation room and has more fake wood panelling than a 1970s rec room.

That all pales in comparison, though, to the food. Every entree starts off with a small dish of tabbouleh, a mixture of coarsely chopped parsley, tomatoes and bulger in a garlic/olive oil/lemon juice dressing. "Bulgur" is a really unattractive word, but I actually like it in this flavorful dish, which is just inside the right edge of sour. I am actually going to Google "tabbouleh" and try to find a recipe I can make in my joke of a kitchen.

I've been to Emily's several times and have never been disappointed with any of the dishes I've ordered. The chicken with rice comes with pine nuts and a mild cinnamon-and-butter sauce that is delicate and nuanced - not words often associated with cinnamon. The spinach pie - shredded spinach mixed with onions and garlic wrapped in a pita-like dough - makes Chicken Pot Pies ashamed they even exist. The Kafta burger, made with ground lamb instead of ground beef, is small, but tender and moist.

Supposedly this place is going to undergo some remodeling soon. As far as I'm concerned, the ambience is the only area Emily's needs to work on.

Soon I Will Be Like Gandhi

Shortly after I moved to Minneapolis, my TV conked out. There's never been room in my student budget to have it replaced.

Tonight, I noticed the pair of pants I was wearing had an irreparable tear. Into the trash they went, a substitute for them unlikely to be purchased in the near future.

At Thanksgiving, I have to leave my beloved 1998 Jetta - the first "adult" purchase I ever made - at home, so I can save on gas, maintenance, insurance and parking in the coming months.

Now, I know talking about money is weird. It makes people uncomfortable. But I don't think about this as talking about money. I think about it as prioritizing. I won't be getting a new TV any time soon, but my gym membership is sacrosanct. Yeah, I will have to deal without my car for awhile, but maybe with the money I will be saving I can actually get some furniture so my apartment doesn't look like a monastic cell (or, if you're the Debbie Downer type, a crack den).

Being poor has been an interesting experience. It's gradually whittled away things I consider less important (the car, the TV) and is forcing me to realize what I consider to be really important. It's a good - albeit painful - lesson to learn.

If this keeps up, I will soon be like Gandhi - rich in knowledge and ambition but unencumbered by worldly possessions.*

*If it sounds like I am trying to convince myself by making the romantic comparison to Gandhi, I am. I totally am.

Grammar Is Dying A Slow, Painful Death

You probably can't read this, but it says "European experienced cleaning lady available."

Her lack of punctuation confuses me. Is she a "European-experienced cleaning lady," meaning she has cleaned houses in Europe? Or is she a "European, experienced cleaning lady" meaning she is European cleaning lady who has experience? Common sense would dictate the latter, but when has common sense ever factored into my decisions?

Also, why bother including "European"? I hope she's not being racist (or trying to cash in on the racism of others) by indicating she's not Hispanic.

Sneaky Ways to Boost Your Word Count

Let's just say - hypothetically, of course - that you have a 7,500-paper due next week and you've topped out at 4,500. You've said all you have to say and just can't boost that word count any more.

This is bad. You still need 3,000 more words. That's a little less than half your paper that you have still left to write. What are you going to do?

Here, let me tell you:

• Why abbreviate when you can spell it out? In this hypothetical universe we're in, let's say your paper is about geographic indications and it is acceptable to abbreviate them "GI" after a first reference. What you need to do here is e-mail your supervising professor and tell him you "prefer" spelling out geographic indications, just because you're a person and you have preferences - no more explanation required. Then, with his blessing, go back and change all the "GI"s to "geographic indications." What once was one word now is two! This is good for at least 200 more words.
• Examples, examples, examples: Examples are key. Give an example for everything. Illustrate away! Not only will this boost your word court, but it will add color and life to your paper and is totally justifiable on the grounds that you want to show how something works in the real world.
• Quote heavily: Don't bother summarizing laws or holdings. Instead, quote directly and quote amply. Judges love to hear themselves talk, so this is a rich resource for padding - I mean, enhancing your word count. Pro: it makes you look legitimate, like you're defending your position. Con: it bogs down your paper and readability suffers.
• "For instance...": Add many "for instances" and "for examples" to your paper, but be careful with this one. It edges dangerously close to activating your professor's built-in bullshit detector. Use as a last resort.
• Footnote frenzy: Footnotes are an unofficial measuring stick of how good your paper is. The more you have - and the longer they are - the better your paper looks. I disagree with this, but the world doesn't bend to my whim (unfortunately). So rather than rail against this academic form of puffery, I embrace it. You want footnotes? You've got 'em. buddy. This is especially helpful since foonotes count towards your total word count. So footnote everything. When you mention a case, footnote the holding and some interesting material from the fact pattern. When you reference something quickly, add a footnote that goes into more detail. Turnabout is fair play...and how! (Note: footnoting footnoes, however, would be overkill. Use some judgment).

Hello from 1945

So, the computer program that law students use to look up law journal articles, statutes and other materials is down.

As a result, I have to trip up and down the library stairs over and over again, lugging hardback copies of all these materials back to my study carrel.

This is kind of annoying, of course, but it also makes me feel like I've traveled back to 1945. When I leave tonight, I am kind of expecting to find people celebrating V-E day in the street or something.

Obsession At Such A Young Age

I may have written about this before, but I live right over a Montessori school. Usually I leave my apartment just as the parents are dropping the kids off and come home after the kids have gone.

Once in awhile, though, it works out that I'm home when school (or "school," since I am sure these kids just finger paint and use yarn in creative ways all day) is in session. They seem to get recess fairly often, so on days when I'm home I can hear what the kids are saying to each other.

A few weeks ago, I heard one girl plaintively crying "Who wants sprinkles? Whoooo waaaaants spriiiinkles?" There was silence for a moment, which I took to mean that no one was taking her up on her offer, and then she started yelling "Who wants money? Whoooo wants moooooneeeeey?" I had to silently applaud her change in tactic. This kid is going to shake up the world of business with her innovative ways of attracting customers, that's for sure.

My Friday morning class was cancelled today, so I got to sleep in and I heard that same little girl again today: "Who wants ice cream? Whoooooo waaaaants ice creeeeeam?"

I can't tell which kid she is (somehow, staring out my window to identify her feels creepy), but I get a kick out of her. She must really like playing store or whatever. I would think, given kids' short attention spans, that she would've moved on to a new game by now. But no.

So either she's the young female version of Warren Buffett, or she's obsessed with playing store. Either way, I think she's going places - places far behind Bernie's Montessori school in downtown Minneapolis.